My mentor left me a few months ago, but only after she gave me a lifetime worth of lessons.
My mom Phyllis Brightman was brilliant. That word didn’t just describe her intellect, but her super-charged sense of humor, business smarts, and way of looking into someone’s soul with her piercing green eyes to know exactly what made them tick.
A few weeks ago, my amazing mom passed away. Even her doctors expected her to reach 100 – she came from a family of centenarians. My world temporarily turned sideways when she left at age 92 without much warning. Yet, she left my sister and me with a wonderful legacy. I hope to always remember her lessons and pass them on to my nieces, nephews and friends.
Here are just a few.
❤️ Every day can be a good day.
My mom believed in savoring simple delights in life. She loved to plant a garden or visit a new city. In the 70s, she became a real estate maven — listing and selling houses and flipping them for profit. Even if a deal died, she would say to me, “At least I met some fascinating people,” or “I learned something new.” She was very good at examining her experiences and being grateful for the lessons they provided.
❤️ Give away pieces of yourself and expect nothing in return.
My mother believed in helping people, regardless of if a favor would be reciprocated. Whether it was volunteering in the 60s to work with teens in Newark or providing advice to a stranger in need – she gave. She believed that if you were fortunate to be good at something, you needed to share that with the rest of the world.
❤️ Continue to learn.
Years ago, my mother was diagnosed with progressive macular degeneration. Her eyesight waned over the following decades, but it never slowed her down. Instead, she seized life and continued to learn new things. She learned how to play bridge by holding cards at a certain angle, and she joined book groups and would listen to stories through Audible. She mastered new technologies and bought eye-sight-related equipment to help her adapt to keep up with her newspapers, allowing her to discuss news and politics with her friends.
❤️They say having an extensive social network helps you in business and to live a long full life.
My mother was a great example of that. While my sister and I often tried to convince her to move closer to us, she insisted on staying put because she loved having her friends nearby and seeing them when she wanted. She had so many friends.
When she passed away, we planned a funeral for a small group. We were surprised to see hundreds attend the funeral or send notes or donations. The bridge club, the book club, the building’s board, and the other friends she had met as PTA president or through real estate came up to me to tell me how important my mother was in their lives and how much they enjoyed knowing her.
She taught me so many lessons. Now, it’s up to me to apply them.
