I rarely write anything that leans negative or critical of a particular businessperson. I was taught by my parents that if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s often better not to say anything at all. In general, I’m not convinced that publicly critiquing someone’s personal approach to business is helpful.
But over the past several months, I’ve witnessed situations that made me stop and wonder whether we’ve lost something important in how we treat one another. I’m not sure whether it’s the political climate, the distancing effect of social media, or something else entirely — but the shift is noticeable.
It’s remarkable to think that simply treating people with respect has become a business differentiator.
Seeing it from both sides of the table
Perhaps I notice it more because I sit on both the buyer and vendor sides of the table. I’m a vendor when I speak at law firm programs, help reorganize marketing and business development functions, or work on strategic planning. I’m also a buyer when I hire someone to maintain my website or assist with branding.
Courtesy still matters in professional exchanges
If you ask an outside professional to bid on work, let them know whether they were selected — and if not, why. If you made a mistake in asking them to pitch, acknowledge it. Lawyers, consider how you feel when a general counsel invites you to pitch and then never explains why you didn’t get the work. Most of you genuinely value feedback because it helps you improve. Silence, not rejection, is what feels disrespectful.
Criticism isn’t the same as thought leadership
I recently listened to a podcast where someone shared a compelling personal story and then belittled how others use LinkedIn. Personally, I appreciate the diversity of voices and approaches on the platform. Some people educate. Others advocate, inspire, or share deeply human experiences. Criticizing others simply to elevate ourselves isn’t insightful — it’s unprofessional.
Authenticity beats performative marketing
I’ve also seen social influencers call out people who don’t create video content online. We all have different comfort levels, personal histories, brand strategies, and boundaries. I consistently recommend that people choose marketing approaches that feel authentic to who they are. In my research and experience, those who succeed at business development are the ones who find ways of marketing that genuinely fit them.
After decades in law firms, running my own business, and helping others run and market theirs, I’ve developed a thick skin. Even so, I’ve noticed a rise in casual negativity, public criticism, and disregard for basic professional courtesy.
Before hitting “post,” before critiquing a colleague, or before dismissing someone’s creative or professional approach, it’s worth pausing. We all have opinions, but how we express them often says more about us than about the people we’re critiquing.
There is a way to disagree, analyze, or offer feedback without being unkind. And while negative behavior may be modeled daily in public life, we are not required to imitate it.
A little more respect and kindness — online and off — would serve us all well.
